October 10, 2011

Dear Mom and Family,

Thank you so much for all your love and letters. It feels really good to be able to remember how much I´m loved back at home. I really REALLY needed all your letters today. Things have been kind of difficult for me lately. I really am trying so hard to do everything I should and to have the spirit and success, but I just haven´t done too well. I´ve longed for so long the peace in my heart that I am pleasing the Lord in what I´m doing every day and not guilt for not doing more. This week I´ve had struggles with my companion. He has been quick to judge and his comments and responses to me have been belittling and judging. He has had some struggles with the existence of racism, and has turned to racism as his reaction and defense. He has claimed that we North Americans do not understand Latins, because we have never grown up in an environment where the government could shoot you if you were out late at night or if you looked like a gang member. He seems to depreciate us because he doesn´t believe we can offer anything to them. We have been given everything and we have nothing to offer because we haven´t suffered enough to win his respect. The most frequent thing that comes out of his mouth is that all the sins are going to fall upon someones head for not doing what HE thinks they should be doing. He doesn´t show mercy and all he wants to do is "machete" people. Something happens or doesn´t happen and he throws up his hands and goes about saying that they should be doing this or that and indicates that if he were in such a position, he would be able to do the job perfectly. He feels that everyone is against him, especially North Americans, but he can´t see that he is the one who is making an enemy out of everyone else.

We got the chance to work with President Boutista this week. We went to visit Hermano Martinez and we had an extremely good lesson. Yesterday President showed up to sacrament meeting, hoping that Hermano Martinez would show up but he didn´t. We made an appointment with the bishop to visit Hno Martinez for Wednesday. I´m hoping that they can resolve past conflicts and that Hno Martinez can confide in him and begin his way back.

Tonight we have a family night with a young single adult less active and with her boyfriend who´s Catholic. She´s 6 months pregnant too. We´re hoping they commit to getting married and him getting baptized. They are both extremely nice. We´ve met him a couple of times but we haven´t had the chance to teach them together yet.

I´m out of time now but I just want you all to know how happy you have made me. That´s why I told you all that I did. So you could understand how much I appreciate what you do.

Love,

Elder Landon James Crapo